sol17-26 Why did I make room for that in my head?

I am participating in the
Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOLSC).
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day of March 2017. 

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity
for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

I am really thankful for this year's writing challenge - it seems to have catapulted me out of my writer's block. Although I have sliced with Two Writing Teachers for six years, by this fall I was rarely participating in the weekly slicing. I was not quite sure what to write. My blog had more or less come to a standstill. 

Why did I start having trouble writing posts? 

Awhile ago, an administrator asked me not to publicize my blog with families of my students. Mind you, I began writing this blog about early childhood long before I began working at my current school and, over the years, the families of my students were an ideal place to find readers, leading into conversations about real issues in early childhood. This administrator challenged me about the blog's existence, saying that this blog was not sanctioned by the school and did not represent the school, and that I should be very, very careful about what I write. 

It is true - this is my blog, filled with my thoughts, ideas, opinions, reflections, questions. It is entirely mine. It is not a school blog. It is my outlet, my writing, my pastime.

I don't agree with or understand this administrator's perspective. Why not embrace and welcome teachers to write, think, reflect outside the classroom? 

I took extra steps to make my posts more anonymous. I no longer share with families or colleagues that I write a blog. I went quiet. For awhile, this worked fine - I wrote. Then I started writing less. And less. And less. Even without agreeing to this administrator's perspective, I made space for it in my head. Doubt crept in. I began to question -  

should I be writing?

is there any value?

what is my point?

There you have it -

a negative voice,

leading to

a boundary,

a wall,

a block,

a boulder,

stopping much of my writing,

leaving me

stuck,

blank,

empty.

Then along comes the March writing challenge! The reality of saying yes to this writing challenge: I don't get to wallow, I don't get to be blocked, I simply must write.

All my questions have fallen to the wayside. Now I am wondering, why did I make room for that negative voice in my head? There will always be plenty to write about.

I hope I can hold on to this writing habit after the challenge. 

SOLSC 2015 #1: Let's begin!

Each day during March, I am participating in the Two Writing Teachers Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOLSC). All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day for thirty-one days. My slices will be primarily about teaching preschoolers. Check out the Two Writing Teachers  website for lots more reflections on teaching. Thanks especially to Stacey, Tara, Anna, Beth, Dana, and Betsy for hosting this writing challenge. 

*******

This is my fourth year of this writing challenge, and I am filled with what I now perceive as "happy trepidation" - a mixture of excitement, fear, and possibility. The preceding days have been quite a crescendo - my computer died and it took another four days before I was able to get an appointment at the "genius bar," four days filled with extreme ideas of me writing posts by long-hand and scanning these with my phone or begging and borrowing computers from everyone in my family each day during the month - how could I do this blogging challenge without my own personal workhorse? Oh my! 

In the end, the issue was minor and fixed quickly; however, I was told that my four year old computer is quite "aged" and that "jostling" could cause the issue to happen again. 

Now, I simply have to go thirty-one days without jostling my computer. 

What the heck is a memory stick?

So, therein lies the fun of the slicing challenge - there is always so much more going on than the very post(s) you are trying to write! 

How will I negotiate life in the midst of writing?

One part of my blogging preparation was reading all the fabulous information that Two Writing Teachers posted about the challenge. Remind you, this is my fourth year…much of this is now "re-reading" for me. Just this past week, Stacey wrote:

QUESTION: What should I write about? Can I write about teaching?

ANSWER: A slice of life storytelling technique that offers insight into an ordinary person’s life.  You can think of it as a small moment story.  You’re not telling about your whole day – just a piece of it.

and I realize -

I haven't been a real slicer.

I haven't been thinking of slicing as a storytelling technique.

I may have written every day for 31 days straight,

but I didn't write slices every day. 

Oh my! Not all of my posts are slices!

Actually,

it hit me bigger than this.

OH MY! NOT ALL OF MY POSTS ARE SLICES!!

Bigger still:

OH MY! NOT ALL OF MY POSTS ARE SLICES!!

Yes, I realize the title "Slice of Life" should have clued me in,

however, I interpreted it as simply - write a post each day.

Truly, it has been enough of a challenge to

make the space for writing each day, to create a daily post, to make my classroom - my preschoolers - the focus of the writing.

For my "slices" [and I now use the term very loosely], I have shared 

documentation of student work, 

what works and doesn't work in my classroom,

summations of training, workshops, lectures,

personal reflections, 

and

sometimes,

yes, 

only sometimes, 

a moment or part of my day;

sometimes,

only sometimes,

a slice of life.

OH MY! NOT ALL OF MY POSTS ARE SLICES!!

Why am I just now realizing this?

Why does it feel as if I am reading something brand new?

Why am I just now understanding? 

Something strikes me very funny about this. 

I am so proud to be in my fourth year of participation, 

I feel so experienced and able,

and,

in a single moment of reading Stacey's post, 

I feel like a total beginner.

As my friend Sybil likes to say,

We don't know what we don't know.

Dear Slicing Community, 

thank you for

taking me where I am at, 

embracing each of my posts no matter how far removed they may have been (and may still be) from a classic "slice," and

being patient with my learning.

Let's begin again.

To slicing!