What is new?

Two year old Frog is full of questions, and one reins supreme these days - "What is that?" Nothing new or different seems to escape her view. Often, what is new or different is purposefully planned by me - I will set out something playful for her, maybe hiding it in a special box or container first, and leave this near the spot(s) of my house that she most enjoys playing. These provocations always excite her; "what did you find for me?" she asks, "what is new?" 

In recent weeks, I have been madly culling and cleaning and rearranging my home, and this means that there have been many "new to her" things for Frog to notice. When her Nana is a newly-retired preschool teacher, the rewards are many for this youngster! I have created a writing studio for myself in my basement, setting out many of my school journals and photos as inspiration. My days with children are definitely my writing muse; my grandchildren are, as well. The basement is now also a more welcoming space for Frog to play and explore, with all my picture books on bookshelves, and a variety of toys included. We have been spending more and more time in the basement in recent weeks.

The other day, Frog pointed to something at the top of a bookshelf - "What is that?" Hmm. What had I moved there? Oh! It's a catapult! Immediately, she was intrigued and wanted to see it; immediately, I was transported back to my time at a conference at Bev Bos' school, which I had the delight of visiting in the summer of 2011. TEN YEARS AGO. Wow. Has it really been ten years, already?

This little wooden catapult was made especially for preschoolers, and it uses ping-pong balls - there's no one getting hurt by this play! I was excited when I saw it, and bought one on the spot, thinking it would be a fun thing to explore in my classroom. Bev Bos believed passionately in joyful, exploratory play, letting children be curious and figure out things through doing. She (and I) liked to sit back and observe what children did with things - How might they use them? What are the children wondering about? What do they think to do, as they play?

I never ended up bringing that catapult into my classroom. I began teaching at a DC public charter in the fall of 2011, teaching a minimum of 22 preschoolers every year. Although I believe firmly in the whimsical play of the catapult, I couldn't figure out how to bring in this one gadget and share it successfully with so many students, without many of the children feeling left out a good deal of the time. That was NOT an experience I wanted my students to have. Yes, truth is, these early learning years require materially-rich school environments, where children play freely and effortlessly, without fear of there not being enough, without threat of not being included.

That little catapult sat in a closet at my house; I suppose, waiting for grandchildren? I moved it to the top of a bookshelf in the midst of my decluttering and cleaning, and there my dear Frog noticed it.

I got it down from the shelf and placed it in front of Frog, along with the small bin of ping-pong balls, and I said "It's a catapult. What do you think it can do?" There ensued such a happy, laughing time. Frog roared with laughter when the ping-pong ball went sailing into the air over her Poppa's head. Over and over again, she repeated the performance. She had a little trouble keeping the base of the catapult steady, and soon realized that these shifting positions seemed to send the ball into different directions - this cause and effect fascinated her. Frog began to hold the catapult in one place, and then to aim it in certain directions. This is what I love about such discovery - it is ripe with natural, organic learning. Balls flew far and wide, with Poppa and me racing to collect them for her. So many laughs! This fabulous play did not last just a few minutes; in fact, Frog played with the catapult for more than an hour of play, ending only at her nap time. I am awed by how long a young child's attention span really is, when they are engaged in play.

What was her first question upon waking up from nap?  "Catapult, Nana?" 

A few days later, Frog - who is a very verbal 27 month old - reflected on the experience, hoping to play with the catapult again:

"We're going to get the balls and I'm going to push the button and then the ball goes everywhere and we were laughing. That's a catapult. Balls go on when you push a button, it will go. Wanna collect that one ball."

I am reminded about how important it is for children to DO - to discover, tinker, stretch, wonder, figure things out on their own.

I am grateful for Bev Bos and her wisdom about children's play.

I am grateful for Frog and catapults and laughter.

COVID 19: Virtual Learning

Just like that,
we will not meet in our classroom,
but virtually only,
preschoolers and teachers,
for the foreseeable future,
while our world struggles against coronavirus.
To be apart
is the very best defense.

Just like that,
we are thinking virtually,
how to display our learning?
how to have conferences?
how to do lessons?
how to create projects?
how to play together separately?
how to build and paint and dress up and move and read and share together?
how to do this virtually?

Oh my.

This is a reinvention of preschool.

What is nap time like, this year?

The quiet one.
He surprises me by singing loudly, a medley of our classroom jingles:

• "Everybody's safe, everybody learns, everybody builds the community..."
• "Find your square and sit right down..."
• "Big Cats! Let's line up!"

I shush him, reminding him - it is nap time.

"Settle down, hon, it is time for nap. Let's take care of one another. Shush!"

To no avail.

The singing keeps on.

Is it louder?!

I get him up from his cot and walk him outside the classroom, into the hallway. I crouch down, looking at him eye to eye, and remind:

"John, we are quiet at nap. You cannot talk, sing, or be loud at nap."

He asks, "You take me for walk?"

Ahhh.

He has seen me do this with others.

Me - "No. We are NOT going for a walk. You are able to be quiet and it's time for you to show me quiet. What will you do - sit and be quiet on your cot, or lie down and sleep and be quiet? Those are your two choices."

"Sit and be quiet," he says demurely, resignedly.

Me - "Okay, good. Let's go back in."

I am so proud of him. I am so proud of me. Yay! Mutual understanding, mutual respect achieved.

We walk quietly to his cot, he sits down, and before I can even walk away, he sings loudly - bellows, really -

"A, B, C, D, E, F, G..."

Sweet cheeses!

Game over.

Preschoolers are powerful beings.

What did I forget?

The weekly note from my principal included a shout out to a very long list of teachers, with the words "A big thank you to the following teachers who completed all their administrative paperwork for the new school year." I scanned the list to see my name - and, ha! Amusingly, my name was NOT on the list.

I just assumed it would be there.

You see - I didn't know I had forgotten to do something.

I thought this was hysterical. I immediately found myself in a weird kind of limbo - aware that I did not complete something, but I had no idea what it is that I hadn't completed.

In addition to all the other to do's on my list, I needed to figure this out.

Exhausting.

What is time?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life with Two Writing Teachers.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

I wrote a lot, this past summer. I wrote in my journal every day. I played around with some 'fiction' writing, for the first time in ages. I reflected on several key memories from earlier in my life and wrote about these. I participated in the weekly SOL challenges as much as possible. I tooled around with a second blog. Anyhow, point being - summer was a delight for my writing.

And then the school year began.

I have not felt as if I had time to sit and write in the morning since this school year began. Every school day is filled to the brim with school things, and no personal writing. Instead, I fill my weekends with 'catch up writing,' binge writing - the writer's version of the weekend athlete. 

Then I went on that silent retreat (10 days ago). The first Monday after the retreat, still under its spell, I lingered in bed for a moment, after the alarm went off. I let my thoughts flow. Then, I got up and made a cup of tea. Without any forethought, I opened my journal and began writing up a few of those flowing thoughts. I wrote for about 20 minutes.

I realized I could hear crickets cheering me on, yes yes yes yes yes yes...affirming the day ahead, affirming my writing. It was still and quiet in my home.

It turned out, I still had ample time to get out the door.

How did this morning move slower than normal?

Then, I thought - wait a minute, maybe I have time every single day?

I think part of my writing problem during this school year was simply posturing: I set myself up to believe the limitation, to think "I do not have time." In the transition from summer to school, my early morning alarm needed to be about work - to get going, with precision and readiness. I loved the leisure of summer and I saw the alarm as the death knoll on that easy routine. I thought - summer's over, and so is my leisure writing.

Also, I am trying to get out of the house fifteen minutes earlier than I did last year. So, to take a bit of time to write in the morning - well, that just seemed an extravagance I could not afford!

But then I did. Yes, I did. It worked just fine. And I have been writing every morning since!

What is time?

What's happening along the edges?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life with Two Writing Teachers.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

I spent this past weekend on the most amazing silent retreat. The retreat is nestled in a forest conservation area, surrounded by beautiful meadows with simple mowed paths for contemplative walking. I did a lot of walking, a lot of noticing, and a lot of writing. Entering the retreat, I was aware of the many transitions in my life right now - we are newly empty nesters, my husband is retired, and we will become grandparents in late October. Plus, of course, a new, fast-paced, and full school year is underway, with many new preschoolers and their own powerful transitions. I had a lot on my mind. Rev. Sarah Anders, our retreat leader,  challenged us to put our own lives and worries on hold throughout the weekend, and, instead, focus on being present in our walks, in our silence. We were invited to stop and notice the nature around us. We were invited to pay particular attention to the edges - what's happening along the edges? Such a magical pursuit! I threw myself into it...

...and it was extraordinary!

I walked slowly, noticing. There was a very inconsequential rain throughout, with sun streaming as well - a 'last vestiges of summer' kind of rain. My protective hat was just enough to keep the rain away from my face, and that's all I needed to ensure my continued walking. The meadow was filled with gorgeous yellow yarrow, milkweed, and purple thistle. There were so many insects busy at work...there are, in fact, I soon realized, an amazing number of lives in a meadow...butterflies, dragonflies, crickets, bees, hornets, spiders, beetles, flies, ladybugs, on and on, innumerable small and new, anonymous species. Within each of these categories of insects, there was tremendous variety...I saw so many different types of butterflies, for example. Are there a zillion types of dragonflies? Thin-bodied, thick bodied, blue, black, small, medium, large, and more?

As I walked, I seemed to stir up the insects...my footsteps instigated immediate, quick, and yet nearly invisible movement - as if we were playing hide and seek. As I wandered, all sorts of insects would jump from the mowed path that I was walking on, into the recesses of the tall grasses and plants in the meadow. How to describe the movement of all these small beings, all at once, as if on cue, with every step I took, within five feet of my own steps, always in the direction I was walking? If I stopped and went completely still - well, they would go still as well, nothing moving, quiet all around. But if I stepped again - voila! Immediately, the grass started jumping, coming alive, shimmering and flickering, almost like a light show with teeny tiny lights. Surreal. 

It felt like a celebration.

Why all this movement? Did the insects hear me? Did they feel the shaking of the ground? Or did they see me moving their way? Was I disturbing them? Or were they delighted to see me? Were we playing a game of following the leader? Who was leading whom? 

Here I am, back to my normal life, for just two days now - and I have remembered to "stop and notice" throughout the day. At school, I've started a fun little personal challenge, thanks to this retreat - what's happening along the edges in my classroom? Who's on the sidelines and what kind of merrymaking are they up to? The possibilities are endless.

SOLSC 20: How do you spell 'Hot Diggity Dog'?

I am participating in the
March 2018 Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOLSC).
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day for thirty-one days.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

As soon as I arrived at school this morning, I changed around the dramatic play area in my classroom. I'm such a pro at these reorganizations that I only needed about twenty minutes to make it happen. Out with the suitcases and the travel theme, in with a restaurant! I set up the kitchen as one long galley against one wall for our many passionate chefs; I moved two small tables to the center of the area, draping them in tablecloths and setting them with dishes, to entice our hungry customers; I transformed the puppet show booth into a hostess stand, right at the entrance, so that we might welcome guests to our charming establishment. 

It may seem strange to change it just four days before spring break, but changing the area was more than overdue. All three of us teachers (my two Teaching Residents and I) felt invigorated by the change - it was like a breath of fresh air to imagine new play and conversation with the children. Also, I feel as if it gives us a chance to see what the children most like to do with the area, and we'll be more informed about the children's interests, as we plan the learning for the remainder of the year. The Teaching Residents are running a unit on Cooking, and this dramatic play area will be a fabulous complement to that unit. 

As students walked into the classroom at this morning's arrival, I met them at the hostess stand and said, "Welcome to the Big Cats' Restaurant, today is our 'soft opening.' Please come in and visit with us." Their eyes grew wide with delight and incredulity - everyone loves a happy surprise! They immediately entered into play, searching for plates, cookware, pretend foods, and taking on various roles. (I was most amused by the two children who honed in on using the broom and dustpan! Every good restaurant needs this kind of teamwork!) Their excitement was palpable...yes, it was more than time to make changes to this area! At our morning gathering, I shared that we will brainstorm ways to grow this  restaurant over the next many weeks, adding in their suggestions of what to name the restaurant, making menus, taking down people's orders, deciding what we should cook, and so much more...we will all work together to have a great time at the restaurant. One student exclaimed, "Hot diggity dog!!" and we all burst out laughing.

The restaurant had an excellent 'soft opening.'

That wasn't the only happy surprise of the day. Fast forward, I am home from school. Unbelievably, just after 7pm, D.C. Public Schools announced that schools are closed tomorrow. Snow day! Wow!! This. Day. Off. Is. So. Needed. It feels as if I have been given an extra day this week...my list of to do's has been bursting at the seam, and now I can be home and focused, with feet up, hot tea at my side, computer on my lap...oh my, oh my, oh my! I feel like a little kid, I am so excited. 

(Of course, the power must stay on, if my fantasy day is truly going to be fulfilled ;-)

(I wonder how much shoveling I'll have to do? My husband is in Atlanta...this is going to be all on me...hmmm. Fresh air and exercise is never a bad thing, right?!)

D.C. Public Schools are like the "little engine that could" of this area...all the surrounding counties will cancel school (as they have many times this school year), but D.C. chugs on, "I think I can, I think I can." This storm must be a doozy, to have them announce the closing the evening before. Oh my, it just dawned on me - I don't have to wake up early and search for the announcement! Is a "no alarm clock" morning - woohoo!

This preschool teacher is smiling! Yes, she is! All I can say is, "Hot diggity dog!"

SOLSC #19: How many different voices?

I am participating in the
March 2018 Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOLSC).
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day for thirty-one days.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

A long, demanding day with so many facets. What teacher hasn't had that strange sensation of being in so many places at once, where you are present with a small group of students but thinking about the upcoming family conference or interrupted by an administrative task or challenged by someone's behavior?

I keep a school journal beside me at all times during the day, to capture data, anecdotes, and important things I've heard and want to remember. It's late in the day and I haven't written a slice, so I thought it might be interesting to capture fragments from today's journal notes... showing how many pivots a teaching day has...how I volley between adults and preschoolers, between coaching, teaching, collaborating, conferencing, connecting...always so much going on. Here are those scraps of notes from my journal -

Can be a toxic emotion in a classroom.
Create chart of student assignments for Intersession
"I painted, and you know what we painted with? Apples!"
"Those go like this, and those turn, and they fall down, and some balls flip...it's going to be the awesome way!"
"It's a rock cross. Step, step, step - and you don't fall in. Come, follow me."
"Can we have a ramp contest and see whose goes down?"
love of learning
Are you just going through the motions? What are you feeling?
Structure creates safety.
Paying attention to the internal state of the teacher.
Professional development - worst ones are ineffective use of time, best ones are stimulating, interactive, thought-provoking
As Fred Rogers says, 'You'll always find someone who's trying to help.'


Yes, this is fragmented. Which is how I feel this Monday evening, fragmented. Wooh. Four more days until spring break!

SOLSC #14: What do you expect?

I am participating in the
March 2018 Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOLSC).
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day for thirty-one days.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

Today started off with one bad surprise after another.

Getting ready for work, I put on my last pair of clean socks and my heel when right through one of them.

I didn't expect that!

I grabbed my phone from where it had been charging all night and it had no charge whatsoever.

I didn't expect that! 

At the metro station, I scanned my metro card but the turnstile did not unlock...I almost flipped over the outstretched arms of that machine - oh my! 

I didn't expect that!

Sitting on the metro, I hear my stop announced; I stand up to leave my seat, but my seat mate does not budge to let me out - I am confused momentarily, only to look down at him and realize he is sound asleep...I tapped his shoulder, woke him up, and raced out of the train, almost missing my stop entirely. 

I didn't expect that!

I walked to school from the metro station in freezing cold wind...isn't it March 14th? What in the world?!

I didn't expect that!

As I walked along, I found myself thinking about how hard it is for young children to handle changes like this...especially, young children with special needs such as autism spectrum. How do you ready them for the unexpected? Every day is a surprise, really! Every day is filled with the unexpected. And some days, it is just one thing after the other. You do what you can do to have routine, patterns, organization...but the best-laid plans go awry. Perhaps the best thing to do is find a way to respond to these changes in a soothing way. For me, it's laughter. I try to find something funny about the situation, I try not to take myself too seriously...and, honestly, I think my flip over the turnstile would have been so funny!

SOLSC #13: What about readiness?

I am participating in the
March 2018 Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOLSC).
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day for thirty-one days.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

I had another one of those strange collaborative conversations today, where I could feel the "pushing" of children. The meeting included a cross-section of teachers and administrators, to discuss an issue:

Our school has a significant increase in students requiring occupational therapy for writing in first grade.

The question was asked -

What can we do in kindergarten, pre-K4, and pre-K3 that would decrease the referrals?

Readiness. 

Ugh.

This is such a minefield of a word for me, as a preschool teacher.

I was told that there is a very big gap between what is expected in first grade and our developmentally appropriate practice in early childhood.

I was told that after kindergarten, 60% of a student's day is spent writing.

Wow.

I wonder -

how do we know that first grade expectations are reasonable?

why is it that the early childhood curricula should change? should be modified to meet this need?

how do we know this is the right thing to do?

Please don't get me wrong - there are a lot of developmentally appropriate ways to encourage pre-literacy...ways to build fine motor muscles, ways to encourage letter recognition, ways to nurture both reading and writing. There are great ways to do all of this in the midst of a play-based, exploratory curriculum. I am game to think this through, to consider ways to enhance our curriculum.

I simply wonder,

how is it that the increased need for occupational therapy reflects on the early childhood years?

shouldn't we be questioning what is being expected of our elementary students?

I saw this declaration on a sign advertising a local private preschool, 

"Where childhood is cherished, children flourish."

Many days, public school seems far removed from this dreamy description.

SOLSC #10 What about sleeping in?

I am participating in the
March 2018 Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOLSC).
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day for thirty-one days.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

There is something so sublime, so nourishing, so lovely about sleeping in. My fast-paced, full teaching days have been coupled with busy weekends and I've had this sense of unceasing push and pull. Then, finally, I land with this incredibly soft, luxurious discovery: I open my eyes just barely and I see sunshine peeking around the curtains, and I smile and roll over and close my eyes again, submitting easily into another deep, rich snooze. What power is sleep! Energizing, rejuvenating, delighting. Saturday morning, I love you.

I'm on a classic quest - finding that elusive balance. My dear husband is retired, and I have several more years before that will be true for me, as well. His easy paced days are a sharp contrast to mine. His retirement has eased my life in so many beautiful ways - he takes care of meals, laundry, house repairs, cleaning...he drives me to and from the metro each day. Yet, I continue to look for ways to bring our two lives more in alignment...while teaching. Put me in a room of preschoolers and I have a blast...let me follow their lead, hear their wisdom, watch their problem-solving, feel their love, joy, and energy...let's dance, sing, build, draw, read together.

That's not my daily reality. There's more to it, always. There are so many things about teaching that seem hard and challenging in ways that shouldn't be - so many constructs that take away the joy. This week alone:

writing report cards in this sterile way, making sure that all of these are aligned across the preschool classrooms, being told that mine were too detailed (me - details personalize, individualize, let parents read about their child and not some formulaic gobbledy-gook that describes any preschooler)

expected to make more and more and more planning details, with increasingly less flexibility or autonomy for individual classrooms...less wiggle room for that special book that suits the conversation or play that organically came up...the goal being to have set plans for the school year - i.e., teaching the same way every year, rather than knowing your kids and running with their interests. 

feeling distance with my colleagues ... an intense planning discussion where no one asked any big 

questions, such as Why should the children study this? What's the larger goal? What are we hoping they'll discover? What are the children wondering?

Yes, it's been a tough week, a tough couple of weeks, a tough school year. But I have Saturdays.

I want, simply, to teach.

Tuesday SOL: What if we talk about race?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

What happens when teachers talk about race with one another?

courage
respect
dialogue
grief
honesty
empathy
fear
tension and uncertainty
questions
a feeling of being ill-equipped
listening
patience
time and space
messiness
stamina
gentleness
love

An outpouring of so many feelings,
all at once.

Finding yourself in a mixed-up intersection of
what you know,
what you think you know,
what your gut says,
what you are ignorant about,
what your family taught you,
what you want to believe,
what you are surprised by,
what you need to learn,
what you hope for,
what you imagine.

Talking about race with my colleagues reminds me of the children's song "Going on a Bear Hunt" -

You can't go over it
You can't go under it
You can't go around it
Oh no
You have to go through it.

Looks like we have to go through it.

Tuesday SOL: Why should I care about Black Lives Matter?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

I've been busy working on something very exciting and thought I should share it here, in this space, and - just maybe - I'll excite another teacher to join the fun. The week of February 5-9, 2018, I am participating in the Black Lives Matter Week of Action: 

The goal of the Black Lives Matter Week of Action in Schools is to spark an ongoing movement of critical reflection and honest conversations in school communities for people of all ages to engage with critical issues of social justice. It is our duty as educators and community members to civically engage students and build their empathy, collaboration, and agency so they are able to thrive. Students must learn to examine, address, and grapple with issues of racism and discrimination that persist in their lives and communities.

Why should I, a white teacher, participate in and celebrate Black Lives Matter in my preschool classroom? It's very simple, really:

I want to give preschoolers a foundation of love and respect for all.

I want them to learn to listen and wonder about other perspectives.

I want them to believe in their personal power and purpose. 

I want my preschoolers to imagine a world without the distortion of systemic racism.

I want to do right by my students of color.

I believe in social justice.

I believe in teaching empathy.
I believe each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) - yes, each and every child, without exception.

I believe I can make positive change in our world. 

I care. 

I must act.
I am a teacher.


Our nation is so troubled. It feels to me like people of color are under attack. Can my students of color anticipate a life of true equality? A world where they will be treated fairly? I have to start somewhere. Black Lives Matter feels like an important step to take.

I have been hard at work on lesson plans for the week, ways to integrate anti-bias, empathy, and perspective-taking in my preschool classroom. Honestly, I already think a lot about this in my work with young children. It is not a huge paradigm shift for me. I'm focusing on read-alouds that celebrate Black families, Black communities, Black culture, Black excellence, and Black authors - thankfully these are really easy to find. I will surround us with Black music. We will explore the color Black in our art. We will talk about how to help one another feel welcome, how to show kindness, what is fairness.These are simple, ordinary, intentional steps in any preschool classroom and I believe they will also bear witness to Black Lives Matter.

I've said this before: childhood lays the blueprint for the rest of our lives...it creates our 'norm', what is ordinary for us. What if anti-bias was the norm? What if equity was ubiquitous? What if skin color was irrelevant? 

I can dream. I can act. I can start.

I am excited.

Tuesday SOL: What's the plan today?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

Last Wednesday was my first day back at school after our winter break. My sleep, the night before, was broken - as expected. I always have 'jitters' before returning to school after long breaks, feeling excited, unsettled, unknowing. Although it no longer surprises me, I continue to wonder why it happens. I mean, I know these children, my teaching team, the building, the day...why so unsettled? Ah, well.

We had a great first day back, everyone excited to be back together...and woke up to a snow day on our supposed second day back! What?! This was a gift of a day, not unlike being presented with delicious chocolates after having just devoured a homemade brownie. It's wonderful, delightful, amazing - and yet, seriously, did we really need it? (Of course, snow days aren't given to those who need a day off, but to areas that are having winter weather.)

So then we had school on Friday, which ended up feeling like a second "first day back." Somehow, Friday felt even more festive and exciting than Wednesday...everyone was in great moods and the day flew by. Then it was the weekend! Wouldn't this be a fun pattern for teaching - one day on, next day off? 

This week has started off in a similarly wonky pattern, with school being dismissed promptly at end of day yesterday, with no after school activities or even our regular Monday staff meeting, due to wintry weather. I furtively searched for a two hour delay this morning...but not to be. I slogged into work, after working on my car for fifteen minutes as I scraped ice off the windshield. Everyone on the road was driving so very slowly, wary of black ice, (in retrospect, this was a good thing) and I arrived just in time to make my breakfast duty. The rest of the day was fast-paced and full, taking me in so many different directions...perhaps I'll share more another day.

Up, down, back, forth, yes, no, on, off, hurry, wait, stop, go, do, don't, this is the start of 2018.

Tuesday SOL: What does a young parent know?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."
- Maya Angelou

I went to see my (elderly) parents this past weekend, who live in a retirement community in Saco, Maine. One bonus of seeing my parents is that I get to see a couple of my brothers and sisters-in-law, who live nearby. My brothers and I went cruising down memory lane, thinking about different experiences we had when we were young. Some of our memories went a little dark.

I'll share just one with you today.

We remembered how sad and difficult life was when my parents argued. My parents believed in giving one another the silent treatment. Yes, this was their approach to conflict - to freeze one another out, to make the other 'figure out' what was wrong. Their silence affected the whole house...it meant no family dinners, no gathering together for television or games, everyone walking on eggshells.

I remember the silence vividly.

All of this was so many, many, many years ago, and I have certainly forgiven my parents. I know that they were finding their way, they were doing the best they could.

Now, I find myself thinking about how darn young my parents were when all this happened. Certainly, I'm much older now then my parents were at the time of all this ugly behavior.

I think, wow - how young all of us are - typically - when we are raising children. Think of how much we learn on the job as parents. Parenting is often done by two young people who are just learning to communicate with one another, just learning to create that team, that precious union. In the midst of this learning, we dare to bring a new life (or two or three or four or, in my parents' case, five). What does a young parent even know? How do you know what you need to know? Goodness!

Time and time again, young parents raise children. It is by no means new. And yet, isn't it a wonder that children grow up, that most of us turn into adults that make a worthwhile life?

I think about this a lot in my work with young children: our childhood lays the blueprint for the rest of our lives...it creates our 'norm', what is ordinary for us. What's happening to my preschoolers right now that they will carry with them always? What is being modeled in their homes? What instincts - right or wrong - will they carry in their bones?

I remember the silence vividly.

This is the power of childhood.

Tuesday SOL: How do you make time for what is most important?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

How can it be one month since I've posted?
How to describe this November?

Here's another very full day of teaching,
a few more right behind,
a Tuesday comes and go,
no slice of life this week,
and many very full days follow,
and here's another Tuesday,
let's share a slice of life...
no, I have prepared nothing...
and so it goes.

Here are a couple of students in a makeshift hospital bed,
waiting for a preschool doctor to appear on the scene!
Truly, it could be me under there - overwhelmed by to do's ;-)

It is very important to me to be a teacher-writer. I have an on-going school journal, where daily I take notes, giving me rich ideas and suggestions for this blog. Truly, my writing issues are not for lack of ideas. This blog has been coming out on the losing end of my juggle of time. All the daily must-do's. Unlike my daily journaling, for this blog I need to make time to play with language, to find the right words, to polish and consider.

It is a priority that I have not been meeting - which makes me sad.

I reflected about this over the long weekend - Maureen, how can you not do what you like to do best?

So, here I go again.
Diving in.
Trying to share, at least - once a week.
Today, I am back again!
If something has to give, let it be something that I care less about.

How do you make time for what is most important?

Me, I'm going to put pen to paper and figure it out.

Tuesday SOL: Why write today?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

Why write today?

Because.

Because it's Tuesday,

and Tuesday means slicing.

Because when I walked,

the ideas and reflections flowed, and 

I know there's stuff to share.

Because I shouldn't let yet another week go by,

without a slice.

Because I have a bit of time before heading to the airport,

for a week of summer vacation in Bryce Canyon,

with my three sons, 

and my husband,

how fun is that?

Because.

Because this year's end,

and perhaps every year's end,

was frustrating and exhilarating,

magical and exhausting.

Because of all of those end of year traditions-

water play,

field days,

music concerts,

Learning Showcase,

yearbooks,

finalized data,

report cards,

portfolios,

goodbyes,

packed boxes, and

closed up classroom.

Whew.

Because this year's end added one new tradition -

saying farewell to our first class of eighth graders,

our first promotion ceremony. 

Because,

although we began our school

with preschool through third grade, 

six years flew by, and 

third graders become eighth graders, and, 

these young adults walk across the stage,

(look closely, you can still see children)

these young adults walk across the stage,

and out the door,

to high school and beyond.

Because.

Because,

somehow,

we have built a school.

Because every school year needs closure.

This one,

most of all.

Happy summer!

Tuesday SOL: What makes you chuckle?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

Five little anecdotes that have made me smile in recent days -

Who's having the problem?

Two students building together, working alongside one another to create a train track out of blocks, and one is clearly in charge. "You can't make that! I said put it here! No, not like that!" Truly, he is yelling. His classmate works quietly, creating, following directions. I observe for a bit and I am surprised that there is no back-and-forth argument. I suggest to the quiet one, the "follower" - "You know you can build elsewhere - you don't have to play with him if he is treating you unkindly." To which he responded without a moment's hesitation - "Oh no! He's my best friend!" and he continued building happily alongside.

Who loves you?

A daughter is saying goodbye to her father at the beginning of the day and she gives him a much-loved unicorn headband, which she has changed her mind about having at school. Rather than simply take this from her, he puts it on his own head and he walks down the hall wearing her unicorn headband - much to his daughter's glee.

What are you crying about?
Someone cries about a toy not shared and another student says, "Ms. Ingram, is he a baby? Only babies cry, right?" I, of course, want to change his impression about tears and so I say, "Oh no, everybody cries, at all ages. I was just crying this morning." "What were you crying about?" he asks. Another student calls out, "Was it Donald Trump?"

May I build on your idea?
I am reading a nonfiction book about bugs at story time, and I stop for a moment to ask - "Who remembers what nonfiction means?" Three hands shoot up, so I call them one by one to define the word nonfiction: 1) "It means everybody's safe." 2) "It means to be safe in your car." 3) "It means watch out for cars when you are in the street."

What is your good news?

I am laying on a makeshift bed in the dramatic play corner, pretending to be sick, while many able preschool doctors take care of me. One declares, "Ms. Ingram, I have good news! You are not sick!" "I'm not?" I ask, tentatively. "No, you are not. You are going to have a baby!" To which I burst out laughing and say, "Oh, I must share this news with Ms. Wright." The preschool doctor declares, "No, Ms. Ingram, you don't have to share this news - this is just pretend!"

Five little chuckles, out of many every day.

Tuesday SOL: Why do we miss the essentialness of play?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

Today, I feel a little bit like I am on a rant...talking about the same old, same old. Many years ago, when serving on a ‘Minister Search Committee’ for my church, I heard it said that every preacher has basically five good sermons – essential messages to which they keep coming back. I wonder the same thing about this early childhood blog – what are the top five things I keep saying over and over, even if packaging it or introducing it in different ways? What’s at my core? I have to believe that I write about more than five things, but I keep coming back to certain beliefs:

1. Let children play - let them choose their own fun, make their own learning.
2. Be present while they play - notice, converse, extend.
3. Make the preschool classroom a laboratory, filled with tinkering, exploring, creating, wondering, discovering.
4. Help novice teachers see the richness and importance of all of the above.
5. Advocate for all of the above.

Yes, here I am today with more of the same. I worry so about our young children. What is happening to their childhood? I worry about how much we are preoccupied when we are around them, I worry about the strict routines to which we hold them, I worry about the academics we are spoon-feeding them rather than letting them choose their own adventures. I think about how much the world has changed for the average three year old over the past quarter century - getting dressed and out the door first thing each morning, being confined with many peers of the exact same age for eight to ten hours a day, following teacher's instructions, coming home and eating and going to bed, to repeat the same thing the next day. 

I worry about how my perspective is perceived by many as 'cute', 'quaint', 'old-fashioned.'

Just this past week, we had family conferences and I found myself 'preaching'...one dear family with an academically-able child asked if she should skip pre-k 4 and advance directly to kindergarten next year. I teach three year olds. No, no, no, no, no! Please, why? Why are we rushing childhood? Why do we think we should push children? The learning that happens when they play with their peers is priceless: problem-solving, persevering, becoming socially competent.

Thankfully, my perspective isn't seen as 'out of touch' by all - one family shared how their child loves coming to preschool each day. This Mom suggested that the classroom was like a laboratory, and added "I feel that my child needs to do, needs to make, needs to feel satisfied." She thanked me for providing a classroom that allowed her child daily adventure, a place where she can make something new happen each day. These are words I live by!

sol17-26 Why did I make room for that in my head?

I am participating in the
Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOLSC).
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day of March 2017. 

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity
for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

I am really thankful for this year's writing challenge - it seems to have catapulted me out of my writer's block. Although I have sliced with Two Writing Teachers for six years, by this fall I was rarely participating in the weekly slicing. I was not quite sure what to write. My blog had more or less come to a standstill. 

Why did I start having trouble writing posts? 

Awhile ago, an administrator asked me not to publicize my blog with families of my students. Mind you, I began writing this blog about early childhood long before I began working at my current school and, over the years, the families of my students were an ideal place to find readers, leading into conversations about real issues in early childhood. This administrator challenged me about the blog's existence, saying that this blog was not sanctioned by the school and did not represent the school, and that I should be very, very careful about what I write. 

It is true - this is my blog, filled with my thoughts, ideas, opinions, reflections, questions. It is entirely mine. It is not a school blog. It is my outlet, my writing, my pastime.

I don't agree with or understand this administrator's perspective. Why not embrace and welcome teachers to write, think, reflect outside the classroom? 

I took extra steps to make my posts more anonymous. I no longer share with families or colleagues that I write a blog. I went quiet. For awhile, this worked fine - I wrote. Then I started writing less. And less. And less. Even without agreeing to this administrator's perspective, I made space for it in my head. Doubt crept in. I began to question -  

should I be writing?

is there any value?

what is my point?

There you have it -

a negative voice,

leading to

a boundary,

a wall,

a block,

a boulder,

stopping much of my writing,

leaving me

stuck,

blank,

empty.

Then along comes the March writing challenge! The reality of saying yes to this writing challenge: I don't get to wallow, I don't get to be blocked, I simply must write.

All my questions have fallen to the wayside. Now I am wondering, why did I make room for that negative voice in my head? There will always be plenty to write about.

I hope I can hold on to this writing habit after the challenge.