COVID 19 - How have things changed?

Truly,
I should be writing more in this blog, during this new normal.

My teaching days are now filled to the brim with new experiences - working through technical challenges to produce some clunky video for preschoolers, having virtual meetings with colleagues, FaceTime conversations with families and preschoolers, on and on. It's all new, and I think I am still trying to find my footing.

It feels as if the world is trying to find its footing.

So here we all are, figuring this out as we go.

Something kind of sweet though - we are building stronger connections with families. We are having rich one-on-one conversations on a regular basis, striving to be in contact at least twice a week. Each of us on the teaching team is taking turns to chat with families, and we share these stories with one another. This brings me great joy! I am particularly fond of FaceTime and the ability to see children's faces...I know it helps the preschoolers, too, to see mine (though, geez, I am shocked by how I look, every single time that camera pops on). I delight in preschooler's use of FaceTime - I have seen so many ceilings!

My friend Hannah's home routine for her preschooler

My role as teacher has changed. I find I am listener, supporter, and counselor, shoring up the family. I am touched by the confidences that have been shared - families needing to vent, to hope, to understand, seeking insight, perspective, affirmation, or just an ear. Over and over again, I am awed by the strength, wisdom, and love of all these families, how they are meeting the demands of this wild new time. We are a resilient species, we human beings.

It is perhaps not surprising that each family is succeeding a little differently from one another, no two alike. Couples are finding new work-life rhythms, these were made up on the fly and continue to be re-adjusted. Children have clear routines, no routines, and somewhere-in-the-middle routines; everyone is finding out what works best for them. I try to share what we did in school, just to let families know of what was once possible...in a very different setting.

Things are always going to be different at home.

What would you do with your grief?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life with Two Writing Teachers.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

My husband's brother died in a tragic accident 50 years ago this summer. Just recently, we heard a new (and, I think, very beautiful) story related to this sad time - how a young child helped with the healing. I have found that I can't stop thinking about it - so, I'm sharing it here. 

Imagine -
a mother,
a mother who has many children,
whose oldest child has made her a grandmother,
whose youngest children are in their teens.
Imagine -
this mother receiving the news that her 18 year old son has been killed in a construction accident.

Imagine -
her eviscerating pain, her crying, grief, and anguish.

How hard it must have been to breathe.

This was 50 years ago...the death of my husband's next oldest brother, in a small town in Georgia. My husband, Tony, was 16 at the time.
Tony remembers
he was pumping gas at his summer job,
mid-way through washing a customer's windshield,
when his typically tough, demanding boss broke in and said
"Tony, time to go to lunch."
(Tony always went home to lunch.)
Then, his boss stepped into the slow-moving traffic on the road by the gas station
to stop oncoming cars and make it easy for Tony
to slip out of the gas station and drive home.

Tony says he knew then that something awful must have happened,
but he didn't know what.

When he walked into the house,
his mother was sitting, wailing, in hysterics.
Family and friends were gathering,
his Dad,
brothers,
sisters,
everyone in acute pain and shock.

Wrong place, wrong time, turn back the clock, let's have a do over, this cannot be real. 

Imagine -
The next few days were a blur of pain and sadness.
A house of mourning.

Relatives, neighbors, and friends dropping by at all times, 

bringing casseroles and sympathy. 

Everyone moving on autopilot, needing a task - 

wiping up spills and tidying up,

perhaps one standing guard over a coffee maker, producing cup after cup for visitors, 

another fixing a plate of food for the grieving mother - which, I'm sure, remained untouched.

Hushed, muted voices repeating the details of his death over and over, 

in various corners of the house, 

a horrific vibration that mother and family could not shake, could not unhear.

A house filled with people and, yet, incredibly empty. 

Imagine,

in this mix, the youngest grandson (nephew of Tony) appears,
this six year old, in the midst of all these mourners.

Oh, I know that house was filled with people!

The grandson knew a good thing when he saw it ... 

all these people, this MUST be a family reunion, 

oh, yes, it must be.

He began to entreat, to beg, "Let's play whiffle ball!" 

Because, this is what everyone did at Mimi's when family gathered.

In-between and around all that delicious food and conversation, 

family would flow out into the backyard and play a pickup game of ball.

This was the tradition.

The little guy wouldn't be silenced,
as many a young child is not,

making the suggestion over and over
to his parents, his aunts and uncles, his Mimi and Papaw,

"Let's play whiffle ball!" 

Imagine

this request,

this playful need,

in the midst of all that mourning.

Well, his own mother grabbed him by one arm and marched him to the back door to discipline him- "This stops! You do not ask to do this again! Can't you see, people are hurting?!" 

Mimi jumped out of her chair,

and rushed up to her daughter-in-law,

and interrupted - 

"Never you mind, girl - that boy doesn't know what he's asking, he doesn't know what's going on. Give him to me." 

With that, she took him out back, and, 

together,

just the two of them,

they played whiffle ball. 

Back and forth they played, 

she squatting down and throwing the ball, 

he swinging hard.

 I can hear his little happy voice, when he hit the ball

"Yes! I got it, Mimi!" 

Imagine,

perhaps,

every time she threw the ball to him, she was a little less numb,

perhaps,

every time he took a big swing at that ball, her heart began to heal just a little tiny bit,

perhaps,

every time she chased a ball, she absorbed the love and laughter in his eyes,

perhaps,

it was the first soft feeling she had had in days.

Playing whiffle ball with her grandson was exactly what she needed.

There's so many things you try to skip

But who'll be there in case you slip

At the end of the day

little children.

Well, you're not alone.

You're not on your own.

- George Cromarty

Tuesday SOL: What does a young parent know?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."
- Maya Angelou

I went to see my (elderly) parents this past weekend, who live in a retirement community in Saco, Maine. One bonus of seeing my parents is that I get to see a couple of my brothers and sisters-in-law, who live nearby. My brothers and I went cruising down memory lane, thinking about different experiences we had when we were young. Some of our memories went a little dark.

I'll share just one with you today.

We remembered how sad and difficult life was when my parents argued. My parents believed in giving one another the silent treatment. Yes, this was their approach to conflict - to freeze one another out, to make the other 'figure out' what was wrong. Their silence affected the whole house...it meant no family dinners, no gathering together for television or games, everyone walking on eggshells.

I remember the silence vividly.

All of this was so many, many, many years ago, and I have certainly forgiven my parents. I know that they were finding their way, they were doing the best they could.

Now, I find myself thinking about how darn young my parents were when all this happened. Certainly, I'm much older now then my parents were at the time of all this ugly behavior.

I think, wow - how young all of us are - typically - when we are raising children. Think of how much we learn on the job as parents. Parenting is often done by two young people who are just learning to communicate with one another, just learning to create that team, that precious union. In the midst of this learning, we dare to bring a new life (or two or three or four or, in my parents' case, five). What does a young parent even know? How do you know what you need to know? Goodness!

Time and time again, young parents raise children. It is by no means new. And yet, isn't it a wonder that children grow up, that most of us turn into adults that make a worthwhile life?

I think about this a lot in my work with young children: our childhood lays the blueprint for the rest of our lives...it creates our 'norm', what is ordinary for us. What's happening to my preschoolers right now that they will carry with them always? What is being modeled in their homes? What instincts - right or wrong - will they carry in their bones?

I remember the silence vividly.

This is the power of childhood.

sol17-10 What is today's surprise?

I am participating in the
Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOLSC).
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day of March 2017. 

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity
for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

The day did not bode well. 

A five a.m. text from my Teaching Resident that she was home sick with the flu. 

I left my house later than I should have and I just missed a metro train.

The morning air was much cooler than expected and I felt chilly throughout my commute.

Darkening skies, I knew the rain wasn't going to hold off for outdoor recess.

The day did not bode well.

Look! 

A surprise at my classroom door!

A treehouse! 

Yes, for real.

A colleague's children and home had outgrown this treasure and she knew my preschoolers would welcome it. Just looking at it made me break into a smile. It was adorable.

I set it up on the center of our welcome carpet and just let it speak for itself. 

The children's delight was as instantaneous as mine. They brought dolls, animals, toy furniture, shells, dominoes, all their favorite treasures to visit the new treehouse. They opened its doors, looked through the floors, walked dolls up the stairs, touch, feel, open, shut, turn, spin, wonder.

For the first few minutes of their play, I was able to sit and listen and take notes. I love to eavesdrop on children! What are they thinking about? Here's what I overheard - 

"I saw something missing."

"Where is the Mommy?"

"We don't have a baby."

"We can have many Mommies.

"It's a treehouse."

"Mommy, I have to go to bed."

"You are not going outside, come back inside."

"There's no room."

"Open the door!" 

"Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me."

"Hey, what's the problem?"

"Close the door." 

"There's a moment."

"I wanted to check the door."

"It's a surprise."

Children consumed with thoughts of family and home. Beautiful. Loving. Magical. 

We were only a few minutes into our day together and I felt that I had set a huge "reset" button from my earlier moments. One never knows what surprises a day holds!

sol17-3 What do you learn in a moment?

I am participating in the
Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOLSC).
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day of March 2017.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity for
teacher-writers to share and reflect.

Last night's Learning Showcase was marvelous. We raced around the room tidying things up, laying out tablecloths, setting up each child's projects, creating an art gallery look to the room. Cloths are my "instant magic." I love throwing cloths on everything - throwing them over toys and other things that you are hiding, throwing them onto tables to draw attention to the work displayed. We worked quickly, we worked non-stop, we worked together - I love my teaching team!

         Turn around, and the room was packed with adoring families, excited youngsters. My mind was on autopilot, repeating explanations, highlighting attributes, encouraging conversation. "I hope you notice...take a minute to look at...your child worked especially hard on...the reason why we..."
          Toward the end of the evening, after much of the congestion and chatter had ebbed, parents of a former student - now, second grader - came in, and they had their younger child in tow. This little girl will enter preschool next year, and the parents were showing her the room and introducing her to her big sister's preschool teacher. It was such a sweet and lovely moment...this brief introduction. I squatted down low, to be at her eye level, and she looked at me through one of the wire sculptures - so very dear! She had big wide eyes and just the beginning of a smile, as her parents shared, 'Ms. Ingram was Angela's teacher...." All the while, she stared at me through the wire sculpture, both of us quite captivated.

Funny how one little moment can stand out as something so precious.

SOLSC #18 What are the last minute things to do?

During the month of March, I am participating in
the Slice of Life Story Challenge.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day for thirty-one days. My slices will be primarily about teaching preschoolers.

Check out the Two Writing Teachers website for many more reflections on teaching.

Big day ahead. This evening is our Learning Showcase, when families come to school to discover all the fun work the children have been doing during second trimester. I know the day is going to pass in a frenzied blur, as has every day this week, as we tie up any remaining loose ends. The preschoolers have completed 3-D engineering devices out of recyclables and found objects. I will share these in a blog post one day soon - they are delightful. I love the imaginative stories that accompany each of these creations. We also have individual story books, where children practiced sharing a beginning, middle, and an end - these, too, are so funny. There is a variety of art to see, since we are always experimenting and exploring. Our homemade paper quilt is the highlight.

Here's to the day!

What are their hopes and dreams?

This is a Tuesday Slice of Life for Two Writing Teachers. 

Check out their website for many more reflections on teaching.


______________________________

This year we will spend Veteran's Day (tomorrow) doing family conferences. 

I am looking forward to conversing with families about their children, 

hearing their feedback about the school year to date and sharing their strengths and needs. 

With 23 preschoolers to share about, 

I know I will be exhausted by tomorrow evening, and 

I suspect my voice will be hoarse.

What are families often wondering about? 

Most importantly - do I love their child? 

Yes, yes, yes, I'm head over heels already, without exception; I'm excited to share why. 

Also, I predict they'll want to know more about their child's 

friendships, 

behavior, 

favorite activities, 

math and literacy skills, and, of course, 

eating, toileting, and napping. 

I love hearing what is same and different about a child's behavior at home versus school. 

Today's a good day to share the children's own "hopes and dreams," 

which I gathered the first week or so of school. 

Funny, they aren't focused on the same things that we adults are!

I love clouds! See the clouds? I love clouds. It’s rainy outside. I can make people and you will see a person when I am done. I learned how to. Look at the tree I made. It’s a blue tree. I like this stuff. I’m going to draw my Mom and my Dad and I love my grandma, so I’m going to make my Grandma. I like everyone in my family. Even my brother! He is part of my family.

I love Mummy and the park, the slide.

I love my Mommy and I like my baby and Daddy. Look at my picture! It’s a monster. Let me draw eyes like this!

I love “A” and “B” and “I”! My name! I went to the pool yesterday. Mommy doesn’t know how to swim. This is for Mommy’s birthday. And I love flowers. The flowers make me sneeze. Painting is my favorite! I have painting at home, too. I’m makin a toy and polkadots and a circle and a marshmallow snowman with a lot of chocolate. And I like sprinkles, too! And this is teeth and this is an umbrella.

I like my Mommy and my Daddy. I love my Grandpa. I love my Daddy and my Mommy.

I love black, black, black, and I love Mommy and my brother and my sister. And, I love painting. I make a circle.

I love orange and I love Daddy and Mommy

I like going camping with Daddy. The camping isn’t finished. I just wanted Daddy, not Benjamin. He’s too little. He’s with my grandparents and he is at their house. I like helping Mommy make muffins in the morning that I can eat. Dad took me to school and I made my bed, but my bed is too wrinkly. I made a lollipop that I like.

I love Pokemon and superheroes and Spiderman. Pokemon. I can draw Pokemon. Mommy and Daddy like this. I just draw Spiderman.

I made a tree fort! And I love my Poppa.

My Mommy and my Daddy and my Daddy and my brother and my dog. And these are stars. My Mom never let me use a permanent marker! I’m making a human with marshmallows.   

I love Momma and I love my Daddy, too. I’m drawing a picture of my Mommy and I make a rainbow and I drawed a sun, the sunshine! I’m making a river, I’m making a boat. That’s my side and that’s Daddy side. I didn’t know you had markers!

I draw me! It’s a wave. I like to go to the beach and play with the sand. And these are marshmallows.

I love Batman. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na, Batmaaaaan! I watched in the Lego movie, there was a Batman in the Lego movie. I’m ddrawing a spiderman shooting out a web, all kinds of webs. My Dad knows all about Spiderman and he knows a lot about Batman.

I love rain and I love clouds. I am an artist. I love flowers.

I love a circle and a candle and another circle. I’m making a cake! I’m making one for Mommy, Daddy, and brother. I love my Mommy and my Daddy.

I love engines best. I only love engines. I do like cars and I also like monsters! I am not done with my engine. I love engines.

I love a flatbed truck and car carriers and a firetruck.

My Mommy and my Daddy. I am going to draw them soon. I am drawing their eyelids. This is Daddy. He is looking at the animals and the boats. And I made this boat. I made another boat in the water.

I love Spiderman and Sandman. He’s in his truck. And I love Mommy and I love TV.    

I love purple and I love Mommy.

I’m drawing sheeplah. Black lines. Look at the elephant! Bonk. Number 6. I’m drawing number 7.

I love this! I drawed this. My hands are pink. I love pink. I love everything.    

Our hopes and dreams display, outside my classroom door.