What did I forget?

The weekly note from my principal included a shout out to a very long list of teachers, with the words "A big thank you to the following teachers who completed all their administrative paperwork for the new school year." I scanned the list to see my name - and, ha! Amusingly, my name was NOT on the list.

I just assumed it would be there.

You see - I didn't know I had forgotten to do something.

I thought this was hysterical. I immediately found myself in a weird kind of limbo - aware that I did not complete something, but I had no idea what it is that I hadn't completed.

In addition to all the other to do's on my list, I needed to figure this out.

Exhausting.

What is most important?

I am participating in the
Tuesday Slice of Life with Two Writing Teachers.
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day.

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity

for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

My beloved colleague Connie came up to me and said, "I'm going to tell you something that is going to make you mad, and, here's the thing, you can be mad for a minute and then you are going to get over it and we are just going to get it done." I looked at her surprised, wide-eyed, perplexed - and then asked cautiously - "Well, what is it?"

Connie quickly told me what the problem was, and the necessary solution. I'm not sharing what the problem or situation was, because, honestly, it doesn't matter. Teaching days can be filled with problems like this. Suffice to say, it was annoying, and small, not a big deal.

Her preceding words echoed in my head: "...you can be mad for a minute and then you are going to get over it and we are just going to get it done."

I stared at her a moment and then I burst out laughing, amused by Connie's clear-eyed insight about me. I said "Well, let's skip my 'getting mad' part and just get down to it." We laughed together as we worked. And, yes, we got it done.

I want to celebrate Connie's approach with me.

She held a mirror up for me to see myself - and she did so in a caring and amusing way. She made me laugh about my own foibles. She was showing empathy and understanding for my expected frustration with her news, while simultaneously urging me to not get bogged down by my annoyance and, instead, stay focused on the larger goal and complete the task.

It was more important to get past my frustration and anger and to just shine in our work. 

I wonder how long I will carry this wisdom: don't let my anger keep me from doing what matters. Or, maybe I should state it this way: save my anger for that which matters. I know anger is a powerful tool for change...I don't need to squander it on the small stuff.

Stay focused.
Don't get bogged down by what doesn't matter.

Don't get distracted.

Keep on with my purpose.
Be joyful.


Thank you, Connie. Such powerful insight for me at the outset of a new school year!

sol17-26 Why did I make room for that in my head?

I am participating in the
Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOLSC).
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, every day of March 2017. 

A big thank you to Two Writing Teachers for providing this unique opportunity
for teacher-writers to share and reflect.

I am really thankful for this year's writing challenge - it seems to have catapulted me out of my writer's block. Although I have sliced with Two Writing Teachers for six years, by this fall I was rarely participating in the weekly slicing. I was not quite sure what to write. My blog had more or less come to a standstill. 

Why did I start having trouble writing posts? 

Awhile ago, an administrator asked me not to publicize my blog with families of my students. Mind you, I began writing this blog about early childhood long before I began working at my current school and, over the years, the families of my students were an ideal place to find readers, leading into conversations about real issues in early childhood. This administrator challenged me about the blog's existence, saying that this blog was not sanctioned by the school and did not represent the school, and that I should be very, very careful about what I write. 

It is true - this is my blog, filled with my thoughts, ideas, opinions, reflections, questions. It is entirely mine. It is not a school blog. It is my outlet, my writing, my pastime.

I don't agree with or understand this administrator's perspective. Why not embrace and welcome teachers to write, think, reflect outside the classroom? 

I took extra steps to make my posts more anonymous. I no longer share with families or colleagues that I write a blog. I went quiet. For awhile, this worked fine - I wrote. Then I started writing less. And less. And less. Even without agreeing to this administrator's perspective, I made space for it in my head. Doubt crept in. I began to question -  

should I be writing?

is there any value?

what is my point?

There you have it -

a negative voice,

leading to

a boundary,

a wall,

a block,

a boulder,

stopping much of my writing,

leaving me

stuck,

blank,

empty.

Then along comes the March writing challenge! The reality of saying yes to this writing challenge: I don't get to wallow, I don't get to be blocked, I simply must write.

All my questions have fallen to the wayside. Now I am wondering, why did I make room for that negative voice in my head? There will always be plenty to write about.

I hope I can hold on to this writing habit after the challenge.